MHA # 11 | Saturday Morning

[scarlet_chaos]

Wanda had woken up tiny, brunette and alone, but that was fine by her. There were frozen waffles and a toaster, which her 10 year old self could handle just fine. Even better, she turned on the TV to find it already set on a channel that played the old sitcoms her mom and dad played for her and Pietro.

It was entirely possible older Wanda never strayed far from that channel.

The Brady Bunch was playing, waffles were made and Wanda shot off some messages to people on her phone to come and join her in the Saturday morning fun.

Somewhere in space, Carol Danvers was very confused.

[If you think Wanda has your number, she likely sent you a text to watch TV with her. Open!]

Comments

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie was still her usual adult self, and so while she thought it was a little weird that Wanda had texted her and asked her to come watch TV on a Saturday morning, she was still here knocking dutifully on the door.

She had totally noticed there were a lot of kids around when she'd gone on her run earlier, but it hadn't really clicked yet, probably because Annie wasn't four this time.

(It would probably click pretty quickly here.)

[scarlet_chaos]

Wanda tore herself away from the TV for a hot second to open the door. She had invited people over, after all. It would have been rude to wait for commercials.

"Annie!" Wanda said, with a thick accent that was so not there as an adult. "Come in, the Bradys are going to Hawaii!"

[defenderofdesmoines]

...okay.

Okay.

So, this sure seemed like it was tiny Wanda, which meant that it was that weekend again and it had just...skipped her and Diego both? (And now all those kids she'd seen made sense.)

But, like, layers of cute here. That accent. The hair.

"Hi Wanda," Annie said carefully, just in case she was wrong. "I didn't know you were a Brady Bunch fan."

That was a layer, too, yes. Adorable.

[scarlet_chaos]

"I love them! Not as much as Dick Van Dyke, but it's still good," she said. "Do you want waffles?"

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I would love waffles," Annie told her sincerely, vaguely concerned about whether tiny Wanda had managed waffles entirely on her own, or whether the kitchen now had scars from it. "Wait -- Dick van Dyke? Wasn't that on in like, the sixties?"

The Bradys weren't exactly contemporary, either.

[scarlet_chaos]

Luckily these were frozen waffles not actual waffles. The kitchen would indeed be on fire if she tried that.

"It's super old!" Wanda said, going over to the kitchen counter where the box of waffles still sat. "We watch old shows to help us with our English. Mine's getting pretty good, right?"

Sure, she said 'groovy' more than the average child, but she'd grow out of that.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Your English is absolutely outstanding," Annie assured her with a nod (and some relief at seeing that waffle box), because it genuinely was impressively good if accented. "Is Dick van Dyke your favorite old show, then? I always liked Lucy. Oh, and the one with the witch."

That was sort of funny, considering who she was talking to.

[scarlet_chaos]

"Bewitched," Wanda supplied helpfully. "I like all those too, but I love Dick Van Dyke. Especially when he trips over the couch. And I wanna dress like Laura!"

Those cigarette pants and sweaters were just so cool.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Oh, with her flippy hair?" Annie could understand that, and even mimed a little flip over her own hair.

Dick van Dyke tripping over the couch was pretty classic, sure, though Annie was distracted by the image on the TV screen. "Okay, so -- it's been a minute since I hanged with the Bradys. Why are they even going to Hawaii?"

[scarlet_chaos]

"Mike's there for a business trip," Wanda said, going up on her tippy toes to grab a plate for Annie once the waffles popped up out of the toaster. "He's an arc--archeee--he builds stuff."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"An architect," Annie pronounced carefully, keeping an eye on this whole procedure in case help was needed. (But she was also kind of getting a kick out of little Wanda, the hostess, so she wasn't going to intervene unless it looked like a plate was in peril or something.) "Is he building something in Hawaii?"

[scarlet_chaos]

Wanda tried to help her mother as much as possible, almost as if to prove she wasn't a pain in the ass like Pietro was.

"Yup. That's how Bobby finds the cursed tiki," Wanda said, handing Annie the plate. "Syrup's by the couch."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"So you've seen this before," Annie guessed, smiling at the plate (this was the cutest thing) and heading over to the couch. "What happens with the cursed tiki?"

Seventies TV was such a trip, wow.

[scarlet_chaos]

"I've seen it like a thousand times," Wanda said, sitting down on the couch. "Pietro doesn't like the black and white shows, he says they're for old people."

Which they so were not, excuse you.

"Anyways, Bobby takes the cursed tiki and it makes all sorts of trouble for the Bradys. Greg almost dies."

That was an exaggeration.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"What about the girls?" Annie asked with a frown, tucking her feet up criss-cross applesauce-style. "There's three of them, too, right?"

Even when she'd been little, Annie had always been concerned with whether the female characters were given a decent storyline.

[scarlet_chaos]

"Yup," Wanda said with a nod. "They're smart enough not to mess with random tiki's they find. The boys though..."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Well, that's boys for you, huh?" Annie replied, remembering that someone here had a twin brother and probably could commiserate on that.

[scarlet_chaos]

"They can be so stupid sometimes," Wanda agreed with a nod. "I am so glad I don't have three brothers. One is bad enough."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I'm kinda jealous," Annie admitted, "'cause I don't have any siblings -- but I do have to work with a bunch of guys, and they can kind of the worst."

Perhaps for different reasons than the Bradys, though now Annie was sort of unwillingly picturing, like, the Vought Bunch.

[scarlet_chaos]

"Oh, I'm sorry," Wanda said, frowning. "My brother is a pain, but he protects me. Novi Grad can be rough."

What with Sokovia having an escalating conflict with bigger countries that have bombs.

"The guys that you work with protect you, right?"

[defenderofdesmoines]

Oh wow, they super did not. But guess what Annie wasn't going to tell a ten year-old from what sounded like a fairly conflicted area of the world?

"You know what?" Annie said, as though confiding a secret. "It's actually more that I protect them, more often than not. Do you ever end up protecting your brother?"

Sure, it was just a weekend, probably, but have some tiny feminism, tiny Wanda.

[scarlet_chaos]

"Maybe by not telling on him when he does something stupid." Which happened pretty often.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"See, that's its own kind of protection," Annie decided. "Way to have his back. You said where you're from is pretty rough?"

Annie legitimately did not realize that Sokovia might not even exist in her universe.

[scarlet_chaos]

Wanda nodded. "I don't know much about it, but I see soldiers on the news a lot. Mom and Dad taught me and Pietro what to do if something happens while we're out."

Mostly duck and cover.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Good," Annie said, trying not to actually worry since she knew Wanda had gotten out of there okay. (Even if her family situation sounded pretty -- well. Tragic.) "And the Bradys are probably a lot more fun than the news, right?"

That was kind of a universal truth but it also seemed especially applicable here.

[scarlet_chaos]

"For sure," Wanda said with a small laugh. "Although Peter gets a spider on his chest while wearing the tiki--that's pretty scary."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Big yikes," Annie agreed, eyes wide. "But also a good way to learn a lesson about messing around with stuff like that, right?"

Presumably Peter was going to be fine. Annie was pretty sure this show had run for like a thousand episodes or something.

[scarlet_chaos]

"Oh yeah. I wouldn't touch a strange necklace like that." Ignore the literal book from Hell she had in her apartment, Annie. "The Bradys always learn a lesson in the end. Then they hug or laugh before the credits roll. I like that part."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Well, what's the point in having a whole tiki adventure if you didn't learn a lesson and resolve it in the end?" Annie asked, smiling softly. It sure would be nice if it actually worked out like that in real life. "They have to figure it out before the next episode, right?"

Unless there was an exciting two-parter.

[scarlet_chaos]

"This one has three parts!" Whew that's how you knew this child has watched too much TV. "They find a man in a cave."

Not just any man, Vincent Price. Not that Wanda knew who he was, despite her vast knowledge of old TV.

"He's kind of weird and mean. He wants to claim all the old relics for himself. Even the cursed tiki!"

Clearly old men were stupid in addition to boys.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"What? Why? Is he trying to take over the world or something?" Annie had to asked, rolling her eyes preemptively. "Villains never have any foresight. Doesn't he know that the cursed thing can get him, too?"

Just, like, a prediction.

[scarlet_chaos]

"He wants money," Wanda said, rolling her eyes. "It's just like Scooby Doo bad guys."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"It's not a mystery like Scooby Doo, is it?" Annie wondered. "'Cause I don't know if you've noticed, Wanda, but Scooby Doo bad guys are almost always, like, the only character in the episode who isn't part of Mystery Inc."

Like, spoilers.

[scarlet_chaos]

...

"You're right. I didn't even notice."

This was life changing.